Title: "There's Wrong, and Then There's Wrong, and Then There's This!"

A one-shot

Author: Shawn

Summary: After Giles gives Buffy a 'gift' from the Watchers Council, he begs her not to misinterpret it's meaning, nor misuse it. The 'gift' thrills Xander, worries Giles and wickedly inspires the Slayer. Alas, can the naughty desires of teenagers resist such a welcome surprise? Uhm... *smirk*

Rating: NC-17 and oh so smutty!!!

Category: PWP Naughty Goodness, lol. Plot? What plot? It's all down hill after this, lol. BLAME BROOKE!

Spoilers/Timeline: Late season 3, except Angel never returned and B/X hooked up around mid-season, and are lovers. The danger of the Mayor is still around, but Faith's on the good guys side all the way.

Disclaimer: Mutant Enemy owns all the rights to the characters. I'm just gonna let them get busy!

Email: Dayshawn1974@hotmail.com

My personal archive: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShawnsLibrary/

Authors Notes 1: Every now and then I think any writer who dabbles in the erotica arena has a plot less, pointless, unredeeming sex romp in their bloodstream. This story won't end world hunger, or teach illiterate children to

read. It's not gonna bring down the price of gas or make Paris Hilton talented. It's meant to be funny, sly, and sexy. That's about it. A good time and a short read. Hope you enjoy it.

Authors Notes 2: The title came from a line in the movie "Sin City."

Authors Notes 3: There's a little explanation I have used in my other BtVS NC-17 stories about how Buffy and Xander can have all that unprotected, bare back sex and she never gets pregnant. Let's just look at that a bit more closely, shall we. *evil grin*  

Authors Notes 4: Again, the story is set in late Season 3.


Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, 'I am with you kid. Let's go!'

--Maya Angelou


The home of Rupert Giles

Xander's bedroom

Tuesday, April 30,  7:30 AM

Sunnydale, Ca

"World History 101." Xander held up the colorful 390 page book, tilting his head sideways, yet again in a attempt to understand why it was so big and heavy. "I'm sure they could have summed you up in 35 pages or less, thus saving my poor shoulder from leaning to one side as I chug you down the hall."

He dumped the book in the book bag on his bed. Alas, yet another day of High School was upon him. At least the end of the school year isn't far away. And as long and boring as his classes are, he's passing all of them, and in three of them, has the bestest, most appealing piece of eye candy to stare at until the bell rings.

Slayer-styled eye candy, that is.

"Trigonometry," he scowled, throwing another heavy book in his bag. "Utterly useless math unless I wanted to be a rocket scientist, which I don't. Where oh where are the Adult Movie 101 classes? Why can't I be stuck in Stripping Study Hall for a few hours? How about a class on game shows? Life is so unfair sometimes."

"Should I be worried about your long-term mental health?" Buffy announced her just arrived presence, standing inside his bedroom doorway. "Because if that's the case then I'd like to be able to reconsider our relationship on the grounds of your mental instability."

It's far to early this morning for her to already be so gorgeous and witty. "Talking to yourself in some cultures is a sign of wisdom and maturity."

"Those cultures reside in mental intuitions, Xander," she teased his way, taking a few steps inside. In her hand, she held a bag with the McDonalds emblem on the side. "I like my men to talk to other living, breathing people, and not themselves out loud."

"Who would be better to hear my complaints than me?" he pointed to his chest, nodding most amused. "I don't mind my own whining. I can bitch to myself better than anyone can. I am a one man talk show for men who hate high school. I like listening to myself. I like talking to myself."

"You like playing with yourself?"


Buffy laughed... and laughed harder when he realized what he had just agreed to. It was as if a light switch went off in his head. She loves him as much as she's constantly amused by the way his mind works. Such a contrast from her last doom and gloom relationship.

"You have a spanking reserved for later on," Xander playfully assured her.

"Promises, promises," Buffy fired back, enjoying the passionate gaze they shared. Young love indeed. "You do wear your weirdness in a charming sort of way," she approached him, holding out the bag. "And I love you so much I sprung for breakfast. Sausage, egg, and cheese Mcmuffins with a couple of hash browns. Two orange juices. My mom took me there before dropping me off here. We owe her hours of torturous yard work this weekend for this lovely breakfast." Suddenly, she's swept in his arms, swung around, and thoroughly kissed long and loving. Her feet aren't even touching the floor. She's giggling against his lips by the time he finally set her down again. "For a kiss like that, I'll buy you McDonalds more often."

Plucking the bag from her hand, he tore it open and inhaled the goodness of breakfast food that will no doubt take years away from his life. "As if you weren't already the best girlfriend in Sunny..."

Quirking a brow, Buffy poignantly cleared her throat.

"I meant to say," Xander amended, "The best girlfriend in Ameri..."

Again, Buffy cleared her thought, tapping her foot impatiently.

"As I stand corrected yet again, you are the very best girlfriend on Ear..."

Yet again, Buffy cleared her throat. She fixed him with a slightly ominous glare, then a smile at the end.

"You're the best girlfriend that's ever girlfriended in the history of the galaxy, and that's all the compliments you're getting. Now can we please eat?"

"Yes." Pressing a kiss to her boyfriends cheek, Buffy accepted his little request. They sat side by side, eating sausage, egg, and cheese Mcmuffins, hash browns and drinking their orange juices. Enjoying a moment of privacy was far easier ever since Giles allowed Xander to move in with him. Working part-time in the afternoon afforded Xander a nice, quiet bedroom all his own, for as long as he wanted it. A far cry from the chaos that was his parents house, and the hovel of a basement he resided in.

Balling up a sandwich wrapped, Buffy shot it across the room into a waste basket. "I don't want to go to school today."

"You say that everyday."

"See, I'm consistent."

"I too, would love to stay home, skip school, and give my bed a workout," he leered her way, eliciting a faint

blush. Lovers for past five months now, and quite comfortable and pleasurable in that phase of their

relationship. "Being responsible young adults truly sucks and pays no salary."

"It should pay a salary," Buffy declared in a way she truly meant. "Being responsible isn't easy in the face of all the fun irresponsibility can provide. But being responsible is part of growing up to be a kind, compassionate, well-adjusted human being. Hence the need for responsibility."

Xander carefully thought it over, agreeing with her, but still added, "I really want to skip school and have sex with you all day long."

Sighing, Buffy's face fell. "Me too."

"Is it wrong of me to feel that way?"

"Yeah, but when has that ever stopped you. Or me," she confessed with another lingering kiss pressed to

his lips. The sound of someone knocking on the door drew the young lovers apart. Standing a little shaky, and a bit apprehensive, Giles walked in the doorway, carrying a small brown package of some kind. "Hey Giles. We weren't about to do anything bad. We were just saying good morning."     

Already with the excuse making. He knew better than to believe them. "Obviously tongues are a part of your good morning," he dead-panned, walking into the room to take the chair nearest to the bed they sat on. His young charges at least broke their hold on one another. "I, uhm... I have something for you."

"For me?"

"No, Xander. For Buffy, is what I meant to say." They probably wondered why he could barely look at them, as well as why he kept running his hand through his hair. And he hadn't even started with the rubbing of the glasses yet. Where oh where in his Watchers Handbook did it have a chapter to prepare him for this most unwelcome conversation.

"Watcha got for me, Giles?" Buffy asked, leaning over to gain a better look at the box. It appeared pretty normal by her early estimation. "Jewelry?"


"Gift certificates for shopping sprees?"


"Vanity stakes?"

"Again, no."

"New shoes?"

"I sincerely wish this was."

"So do I."

Leaning over his girlfriend's shoulder, Xander tried to figure out what was in the mysterious package. "The suspense is killing us, G-Man. Open the Pandora's Box already." The stunted, all to nervous expression on Giles face warned Xander of danger approaching. "Is it... is it Pandora's Box?"

"We've never dealt with that before," Buffy whispered over her shoulder.

"I don't want to either. I say we don't open it," Xander whispered in her ear.

"But aren't you curious what's inside?"

"I say give it back to Pandora before she gets pissed. If memory serves me correctly, and it rarely does, opening this thing might bring about the end of the world."

He might have a point, if memory served him correctly. Buffy thought it over, but before she could speak

Giles told them, "It's not Pandora's Box. Though the analogy has it's merit." He took a long deep breath, preparing himself for a conversation he so does not want to have. "As not only your Watcher, but your friend, I was pleased that you shared with me that you and Xander are now physically intimate. I appreciate being told, is what I am trying and failing miserably to say."

Okay, why is my Watcher blushing, Buffy pondered in her head. "Well, I thought since Xander's staying here with you, that you should know. And we are close and all."

"Yes, well... I... I, uhm..." Where oh where were the words? Giles shook his head, frustrated. Thus began the rubbing of the glasses. "I am proud of you both for using condoms..." Oh dear God, he actually said the word 'condoms' in front of them. He sincerely wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. To make matters worse, they were whispering back and forth between them that he said the word 'condoms.' "And using birth control is a very smart, mature move," he stated. "Buffy, your duty as the Slayer is a serious one, but your duty as a young woman on the cusp of college is equally important. A pregnancy would not be a wise life choice at this time, nor would accidental pregnancy."

"WE COULD NOT AGREE MORE!" Xander and Buffy practically shouted in unison, then smiled at one another.

"Yes, ahem. To that end I felt inclined to inform the Watchers Council that the current Slayer is sexually active and is being sexually active with a healthy human at this time."

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey," Buffy quickly chimed in. "I don't like the idea of a bunch of old stuffy guys knowing what I do or who I do it with."

"Buffy, I did not inform them of who you shared relations with, nor any more details than that you are sexually active. You are the Slayer, and you are necessary to the continued protection of the world against the forces of darkness. They needed to know," he tried to explain as his feet nervously tapped on the floor. Man oh man, he

wanted this conversation over with pronto. "Very few Slayers have ever become pregnant in the past, though it has happened. The Council feels that it is a good thing you are on birth control, but that the current marketed brands of birth control might not work effectively due to your extremely powerful immune system and the mystical properties associated with you being the Slayer."

"Is the Watchers Council asking us to stop having sex?" Xander did not want to ask, his eyes wide open, fear and the need to rebel etched clearly on his face. "They can't ask that. Can they?"

"Unfortunately, no," Giles replied, feeling truly uncomfortable. "What they sent to Buffy were these." Prying the sides of the box, it opened to reveal three large plastic bottles, filled with gel-capsules. "These are specially made Slayer Birth Control Pills. They are mystically enhanced by the Coven of Witches, and augmented with ancient herbs by the Watchers Council scientists. They work 100% of the time without fail. They have no side-effects and within one hour of taking one, you are fully protected no matter.... uhm, no matter how many times you... that is to say."

"Bang the gong?"

"Sorry. I'm not familiar with the phrase."

"Make the beast with two backs?"

"Didn't we kill that three weeks ago?"


"Ah yes, my embarrassment is complete." American teenagers tried his patience like no others. "It doesn't matter how many times you partake in physical relations, you will not conceive."

"I get it," Buffy laughed a little, helping her thoroughly embarrassed Watcher out. She reached inside the box and took a bottle, looking closely at it's contents. Wow. Two hundred pills per bottle. Oh happy day!

Giles is rubbing his glasses and tapping the foot. He wanted to throw something at Xander, who looked like it was Christmas morning and he'd been a good boy all year long. He expected that any second now Xander's face might crack from the widest smile ever. "Since your body rejects all diseases, and Xander is clean and healthy, there's zero risk of any sexually transmitted diseases. These pills are to insure you will retain the ability to effectively Slay no matter your physically relations." Buffy's smile grew and grew, as did Xander's and Giles dread. No doubt MTV, movies, and music would influence them in the worst of ways. He imagined their faces on a poster with the words 'Horny Teens' plastered beneath their pictures. "I do expect you two to retain your mature stance on sex, as well as maintain a dignity about your actions. I would not like a repeat of activities in inappropriate places."

"Hey," Xander defended them. "We made a mistake once in the cemetery."

"Three times, unfortunately," Giles reminded him. Counting on his fingers, Xander quickly nodded. "Then there was the fiasco at the Bronze. Both of you were kicked out and told not to come back for at least a month."

"That was blown way out of proportion, if you ask me." Buffy felt Giles commanding fatherly stare her way. She ducked her head a little. "It was a spur of the moment deal that will not be repeated."

"So, I have both your words then?" Giles stood to his feet. He laid the box on Xander's bed. "You will refrain from activities that do not appropriately represent yourselves. Okay?"



"Without a doubt."

"We are mature."

"And responsible."

"And will represent ourselves in a respectful manner."

"Sex is a special act between consenting adults, and not to be taken light."

"We will act accordingly."

"Scouts honor."

"We promise."



Sunnydale High School

The new computer room in the back corner of the library

Beginning of 5th Period

Tuesday, April 30,  1:10 AM

Sunnydale, Ca

"Uh, uh, yes, god that feels so good," Buffy moaned as their mouths departed. She wailed from the delicious feel of him sliding deeper, straining her hips up at him, her thighs slapping against his.

Thankful for the better than average size of the couch, Xander pulled on her slim hips, cramming every inch of his cock into her fully. She drew a long, rasping breath as his fast tempo and powerful strokes set up brassy squeaks in the couch springs that marked their passion.

Buffy's breathing was coming in loud rushes. Her nose crinkled up and her lips curved down into a sneer so sexy she felt Xander's body shiver. "Don't stop, please don't stop," she half-begged, half-pleaded, seething through clenched teeth.

"Feels so good, Buffy... always so good," Xander panted onto her succulent, soft lips. Between her thighs, the lips of her sex were stretched taut, clinging to his hard cock as he thrust into her harder.

How they even made it past First Period alone should be held up in their defense against this absolutely crazy, dangerous, oh so bad session of hot sex they're engaging in at this moment. Call it what you want to. Hormones. Being young. Being young with raging hormones. Stupidity brought on by mad lust. Whatever the case, Buffy and Xander for once didn't question the mystery as to why it seemed no students but them and their friends ever entered the library. They were only thankful as they ran in after a particularly boring Chemistry class. Having hungrily eyed each other from the moment they left Giles house to the end of the last class they shared, they simply had to have each other, location and time of day be damned.

With Giles in a faculty meeting upstairs, and the rest of the Scooby's in other classes, Xander suggested the new computer room in the back corner of the library as a place for them to 'talk.' The one with a lock on the door and that new sofa with the big soft pillows. The craziness of his suggestion made it all the more wickedly appealing. Buffy didn't need to be asked twice, and it was on from there.

Finally, after nearly six of condoms, the feel of bare glistening flesh thrusting and pulling on bare flesh, sans anything between them was a rush like no other. Heaven is the soft clinging heat within her, milking his aching shaft, bathing it is her essence. Hell is how hard and thick he feels inside her, throbbing with every pulse, so alive she can't believe anything ever felt so good, because it hadn't until this very moment.  

Her beautiful dark lashes blinked some hypnotic Morse code of outlaw sex as her lower body rocked to meet his every pounding surge into her. Her fingers sifted lovingly through his hair at the temples  "Uh, uh, uh, yes Xander, yes harder!" she ordered in a darkly sexy voice. She was moaning almost continuously now, a soft, mewling sound of pleasure. Her pelvis moved languidly, up and down, in circles, as if it were not a part of her. He made her feel so full, buried deeply within her heated, clenching core. She could hold him fully, pulling, her body greedy tight around his. Her nipples peaked, so erect, begging for his lips, but they dare not take off all their clothes, just in case. Only their lower bodies were bared, needed penetration most of all. Pants, underwear, and shoes laid on the floor beside them.

Grinding down long, slow circles inside her, Xander worked her ear, nibbling the lobe, grooving his tongue into the little winding canals above it. His cock twitched and throbbed inside her. Her slickness coated him like a second moist skin, allowing for the most pleasurable lunges imaginable. His short rapid thrusts seemed to drive her breath away. She bent her knees and arched upward, giving herself to him fully. "OhGod, I love you," he whimpered in

her ear, "Love you so much."

"Loves you too," she groaned. Her legs came up and wrapped around his back, her arms encircled his neck, and her mouth pressed against his, open, wet, and loving him as he loved her. She suckled his tongue, mimicking her depths around his cock, willing him to penetrate deeper inside her. This was dangerous, maddening passion. Bad, bad, bad, bad, and nothing good could come of it if they get caught. Sex in school equaled expulsion. Reckless and hot and oh so wrong it had to be right. Damn it all, this felt so erotically good. In the middle of the school day, with hundreds of students attending classes and teachers teaching, they're fucking their brains out right under their noises. Shagging each other senseless and loving every Watchers Council Birth Control Pill protected second of it.

"Buffy, you fuck so damn good."

His brash, earnest praise had sunk in deep. A warm silence fell as they kissed softly, deeply.

Warmly encased in her tight womanhood, Xander lunged his hips into her, banging her harder as they strove for that elusive orgasm. The sheer fact that neither of them had cum yet in 15 minutes only made this encounter burn hotter as they built toward an amazing release they knew would be so worth it.

"You're so lucky to have a man with Herculean endurance."

"You call 17 minutes Herculean?"

"Okay, I'm gonna stop talking to you during sex." Buffy laughed, drawing him down for another long kiss.

Withdrawing about half his length, he plunged it back to the hilt in one sharp thrust. Buffy gasped into his mouth, driving her tongue down his throat, imitating the action of his cock below. Then, he started a slower rhythmic motion, pushing his cock in and out, twisting his pelvis.... reaming, withdrawing, thrusting. Her pelvic muscles spasmed and shuddered, her breath quickened, her inner walls fluttered uncontrollably around him, signaling her release was imminent.

"Xander... Xander... OhXan..." Buffy winced sharply as he took her. They're totally entwined together. Her tongue met his, dueling back and forth behind their teeth as they fucked madly on the couch. "You've been dying to cum inside me."

"All... it's all I've been thinking about... wanted to for so long."

"Now's your chance... I want it so bad... I want to see your face when you cum inside me for the first time." The couch rocked and shook from the force of their coupling. Teenage lust run amok, they worked each other into a passionate frenzy, blazing upward towards that zenith of intense pleasure they're so close to reac...

"... couldn't believe it when the seats started floating," came a vaguely familiar, flighty voice from outside the room. People had just entered the library. Dammit!

Halting their amorous movements, Buffy and Xander's eyes widened like a deer caught in the headlights of a oncoming Semi-truck. They didn't dare move a muscle, praying whoever the new arrivals are would just go away!

"... never heard so many people speaking in so many foreign languages. It was like I was sitting in the UN, only surrounded by dorks."

Xander mouthed a silent 'Cordy,' to which Buffy frowned, nodding that she agreed. Wired beyond words and dying for what was denied them, they gently dislodged, threw their clothes back on, and silently thanked the high schools architect for the small window in the corner. Buffy opened it, praying some fresh air might shadow the scent of their coupling. Alas, even if that was the case, the strained, restless, flushed, needy looks on their faces might just due them in. Xander stood by the door, then counted one, two, three, before he and Buffy walked out.

They found Cordelia, Willow, and Oz standing around a small table, talking over something. All three looked up when their friends approached.

"We're you guys in the computer room?" Willow asked, as surprised as she was... well, surprised. When had Buffy ever walked around with part of her blouse hanging out? Strange indeed. "Xander, you told me computers were your enemy and that they were not to be trusted."

Thankfully, wearing his shirt out might look a little sloppy, but it hid a multitude of sins. "Wills, my dear. A guy has to take his fears by the horn and slam them to the ground, thus breaking the back of said fears. Later today I am gonna try my hand at skydiving." As Xander took his customary seat next to Buffy, he realized Willow's innocence wasn't exactly shared by the gossip-barracuda that was Cordelia, or the werewolf-enhanced senses that Oz possessed.

A curiously interesting silence fell over them, as Willow looked from one person to the other, attempting to figure out what's going on around her. Taking a careful inhale, she didn't sense anyone 'let one fly.' A silent but deadly gas expulsion could bring about the quiet quicker than anything. Moving right along. First, there was Cordy, staring at Buffy and Xander as if she was trying to figure out a puzzle. Most curious of all was her boyfriend, Oz. He seemed to be coming down with some form of a allergy. He inhaled deeply a few times, his eyes widened, then he shrugged and was her Oz again. Stoically sweet Oz. For some strange reason that seemed to relax Buffy and Xander. "Okay, we have Mucho Grande weirdness going on today."

"Point me to it so I can kill it," Buffy offered. "I will kill it faster than fast." Her knees are shaking under the

table. She was so close... Oh God, was she ever close...

"Not so simple," Oz began to explain. "The three classrooms on the third floor, rooms 100, 101, and 102, have complained for the last hour of strange things happening."

Cordy snorted, aloof as always. "Strange my Gucci boots. There I was, sitting in my Home Economics class, looking good as usual. Then all of a sudden five students chairs started levitating off the floor, and floating around the room. The students were screaming and yelling, but not in English. Every one of them were talking in a different language, and couldn't stop no matter how they tried. Mrs. Bivens ran from the room, clutching her Catholic cross, screaming about ghosts and such."

As much as Xander wanted to care, the painfully hard erection only now returning to normal left him feeling jumpy, and oh so frustrated. "Sounds... uhm, sounds interesting. We should investigate." He nodded a bit to

exaggerated. "How about Willow and Cordy try to look around the rooms while Oz... uhm, he can see if he can interview some of the students in the class. Buffy and I can research online alone in the computer room. Okay, who's with me?" Hands over their mouths, Oz and Buffy both coughed a chuckle, then looked at each other. Buffy blushed a little, while even Oz had to crack a small, one second grin.

"Okay, first off, you are not the leader, ever," Cordy felt had to be pointed out. "And while I don't particularly like the leader," she sneered at Buffy, "At least it's not you."

Xander glared at her. "Cordy, as always, your insight and your presence, will be ignored."  

"You're really good at recognizing how that feels, aren't you?"

"Isn't their a mall you need to walk around and not buy anything becasue you're poor now?"

"We have so much in common."

"Enough, already. Sheesh." Buffy shook her head as the doors opened, revealing a slow walking Giles. The proud Watcher approached toward their table, looked around, sighed, and said, "Ты кто улице означает, так быстрее разработке." (I fear I too have been affected by whatever is happening on the third floor.) Buffy, Xander, Willow, Oz, and Cordelia stared at him as if he grew a second head. "возникновения на, как бы успехов действия предварительного. До главной отдавали вот, за тебе минуты участки мои, от вопрос словарь заметки лет." (Since none of you aside from Willow every took a foreign language class, or at least one you passed, I fear I will be stuck like this for a while.)

Flabbergasted, Xander kinda threw his hands up. Cordy shrugged. Buffy titled her head to the side, but the words were no clearer to her. Oz was Oz. Willow looked on curiously.

Sighing yet again, Giles sat down in a chair. No doubt the little stash of brandy in his office will be needed

today. "Об правильно вероломно там, буду указания безусловно что до. За система программного биг, прекрасно следующее миф он." (I have noticed that I cannot write in English either, nor can I read it for some strange reason.) His teams lost expressions did little to encourage him. "Те письмо минуты шеф, вот себе заботит действий от. Он случае инструменты что, то нее глупые неодинаковые, долгий оставляя расположенной то где. Применимы возникновения об все, но эти учёт ставить, об лет письмо хватит существует. Код появлялись промежуток во, их улице система деградируют шеф." (Since neither Xander, nor Buffy, nor Oz understands a word I am saying. Coupled with Cordelia's lack of caring and Willow's brilliant, yet befuddled expression, I fear I'd better brush up on my sign launguage. Why does this school not teach Russian?)

"I can help you, Giles," Willow smiled brilliantly at the clearly shocked Watcher. "I am far from befuddled, as you should know by now." The Watcher felt a little embarassed all of a sudden. "I took a summer course in Russian, so I can communicate with you." From across the table, Xander high-fived his best friend. "Yes, I know. Willow equals cool."

"So very cool," Oz proudly proclaimed.

Cordy just rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Another day, another Sunnydale Hellmouth mystical event. Why oh why could this have not happened ten minutes later so that she and Xander could be basking in the after glow of mutual magnificent orgasms? Her nerves are still on edge and her body's calling out to him like some sexy love song. "Okay, so where do we start? We have a mystery to unravel and we are going to do it fast and hard!" She pounded the table with her fist. The BOOM echoed all over the library. Everyone stared at her. She didn't even blink. "Well let's get to it. Xander. Computer room research! Now!"



Twenty Minutes Later


It was funny, actually.

Okay, maybe not that funny.

Well, to be perfectly honest, neither Buffy nor Xander found it very amusing at all, as they sat at a table on the libraries second floor near the banister, looking below. Willow was spraying the computer room with air freshener while complaining that small rooms needed fresh air and that window needed to be left open more often to get rid of the musky aroma that hung in the air. She blamed the schools pour air filtration system as the culprit.

Yeah. Okaaayyy...

Choosing the true Big-Bad, Xander and Buffy blamed the Hellmouth for ending their naughty encounter prematurely, thus leaving them in such a tense state of unrest they could barely sit still. The oddness of Giles walking back and forth below them speaking in fluent Russian didn't affect them nearly as viscerally as sitting so close to one another and not being able to touch the way they wanted to.

Xander turned page after page as the words seemed to blend together. "Why does Willow always get to play with the computers?"

"Becasue we shun them," Buffy attempted to explain. "We're computer-acists. We don't like them simply becasue of who they are and try our best to never associate with them."

"But I can change," he vehemently stated over a stack of old dusty books. "I can treat them fairly and be kind and compassionate. I want to associate with computers more, darn it."

His lips looked so kissable to her when he's pouting. "You just want to have sex."

"Well don't you?"

"Seeing as how my ankle is practically humping your leg, I think the answer is Ya-Ha."

"This sucks," Xander declared, slamming shut his occult book. So what if a few students were levitating around the room, or speaking a new language. What was so bad about that? The oversized 500 page book entitled 'Non-Threatening Spells, Possessions, and Witchcraft: Volume 1,' didn't provide any answers anyway. "There's nothing in this big dumb book about some big dumb spell that would alter someone's big dumb language."

"That might be the biggest, dumbest sentence you've ever said."

"Topping yourself is never easy."

Topping, Buffy thought as she swallowed hard. She'd love to be on top right now, riding away, watching that sexy-sweet eye glaze thing he does when he's about to... She's flushed and chewing her pen into submission. "My book isn't helping either." Shoving it aside,  Buffy shut her eyes, exhaling deeply. "Of all the days the Hellmouth has to mess with me, it chooses to mess with me on the day I get my super birth control pills."

"Stupid Hellmouth. I wish I could kick it."

"Kick it hard, honey. For both of us." Buffy tried to stop, but couldn't. The bare skin above her ankle kept gliding up and down his leg, using long slow strokes. His leg massaged hers right back, as they played affectionately under the table. "I've never given a leg job before."

"As with all other jobs, you give the best ever," Xander winked at his girlfriend, enjoying the teasing smile curving her lovely face. How did he ever get so lucky? Ah, screw it. Who could predict love. It makes no sense trying to figure out the how's and whys. You just enjoy it while it's there. "Okay, I can't find anything on spells or possessions that change someone's language. Usually the possession will alter the persons personality or behavior. Cordy said outside of being afraid, all he students acted normal like."

"Then maybe it's a spell."

"Maybe a student wanted to pass a language class, knew he or she wasn't, and tried to cast a spell on themselves so that they could pass easily, and messed up instead."

"That's possible, but doesn't account for the floating chairs."

"The floating chairs are the really weird part. Giles told Willow the same thing happened in his faculty meeting. Everyone was sitting around, listening to the speaker, and then five chairs just floated in the air. All of a sudden  Giles became Vladimir Giles and all was crazy."

"I think we might be able to rule out possessions. Especially since Giles has been affected and the only thing wrong with him is he can't speak English anymore."

"Good. I don't ever want to see anyone's head turn all the way around."

"Ever since we saw the Exorcist, you've been wigged out."

"It's a fairly scary thing. One second you're looking ahead. The next, you can look down at your butt. It's freaky and not of the good." Xander had more to add, but simply couldn't. Not after Buffy started gnawing and sucking on her pen. Immediately, he felt jaw dripping, blood-greening envy flowed through him. "Can you please stop doing that?"

Buffy looked up. "Doing what?"

"Giving that pen a pen-job. It's very distracting." Considering what a loon he is sometimes, Buffy stared at him... for a long while. "Hey, I'm not crazy. I'm Xander."

"You're just horny."

"So are you."

"No I'm not. I'm over my horniness."

"Are you telling me you aren't thinking about hot sweat monkey love right now?"

"No, Xander. I don't watch the Discovery Channel," she just had to mess with him. "And I'm sure the people working hard on those documentaries about the mating habits of monkeys wouldn't want people to refer to it as hot monkey love."

She's so charming sometimes. "That's it. I'm breaking up with you."

"I refuse."

"You refuse?" Xander stared at her. Buffy simply nodded. "If I want to break up with you, I can." He puffed out his chest to emphasize his point. "I know I can."

"No you can't."

"Oh yeah? You want to see me try?"

"You already did." He appeared to think things over in his head. "I refuse to allow you to break up with me."

"Fine. I'll cheat on you then."

"There are two reasons you'd never do that."

"Oh yeah? Name them."

"For one, you love me more than anything else in the whole wide world." They shared a similar smile, as well as the truth of her statement. "Number two, I'd kill you and her, thus sending me to prison."

"Yeah, well, I still want to have hot sweaty sex with you."

Aside from his devilishly evil grin, the verbal picture he painted translated into mental images that left her warm and slightly breathless. "If you make me mad I'll send those pills back to England."

"I shall never, ever make you mad then." Sitting back in his chair, Xander heard Willow call his name from below.

"Guys, Giles and I are going to try to charm those rooms and see if anything comes up. Oz is off to find Faith just in case things get a little more crazy."

Buffy asked, "Where's Cordelia?"

"She left. Called us losers on the way out. She also has a run in her stockings, but I never said a word. Her embarrassment shall be the cherry on top of our day."

"I love you, Willow," Xander smiled down at her.

"As you should. Okay, we're off. See you soon. If anything turns up, you know where to find us." Waving goodbye, Willow exited the library with Giles, who muttered something Russian at them.  

Now that they're all alone, Xander could feel his body throb in anticipation. The responsible, mature young man had to prevail over the naughty-minded teenage Sex-God. Right? "Looks like we're on our own again."

She's fallen in love with those warm brown eyes and that crooked smile of his. It's still a thrill to her that her feelings changed for him, and yet, nothings ever felt so right. Add into that once they crossed the physical line, of which she gleefully obtained his V-card, it's been pretty damn amazing. "Yep. All on our own. By ourselves. Just the two of us."

"A duo."

"A couple."


"A twosome."

"A threesome?"

"In your dreams, Xander," she grinned him from across the table. "Whatever will we do now?" She's warm all over, as if she's in the middle of a great workout. Feeling the need to not remain still, Buffy rose from her chair and left the table.

Her boyfriends attentive eyes followed her every step. Her beautifully polished nails trailed down the oak finished table, tapering off as she moved toward the back area of the second floor. The gentle sway of her curvy little backside encased in that tight skirt had driven him to near madness all day long, and the insanity has returned ten-fold. He's out of his chair, and four strides later, nestled behind her.

Facing a long study table braced against the wall, it sat as far back on the second floor as possible. With a sudden rush of tingles, Buffy's hands brushed down her skirt. When Xander's solid frame firmly pressed into her from behind, she could feel her body respond. He's already hard. His erection straining against his jeans, prodding her with it's every pulse. They were so 'close' earlier, and if his body is still strung tight as hers then he must be close to losing his mind. When he tenderly brushed some of her hair off the side of her neck, not saying a single word, his lips found her soft skin, wetly kissing her as she hummed delightfully. "We could get caught."

"It's senior year," Xander whispered evilly in her ear, lapping the shell with his tongue. "They can't take away our diplomas, and I want you so bad." He shifted forward again, allowing his hardness to ground into her. He didn't try to stifle a moan, wanting the strained sound of his voice to convey his aching need of her. "I want you so bad. You know I... ahhh." As he spoke, her right hand ghosted between them to grasp his cock through his jeans in her palm, squeezing the constantly throbbing muscle in her fist. It jumped from her touch alone, jerking in

it's confines. "Buffy..."

"I want you too," she confessed in a tone of pure desire. Her lips began a slow tremble when he carefully unzipped her skirt. Her heart leapt in her chest when his left hand slipped under her clothing, inside her panties, giving a gentle squeeze to the fullness of her sex, cupping her possessively. The sensations turned her liquid, her pulse racing instantly. She's so ready and he's so hard and this is so wrong and they're gonna do it anyway. "I want you so bad."

"You have me," Xander assured her in a husky tone, enjoying the torturous friction when she began gently grinding against him hand. She had a sensuous, primal way about all her movements that made his body tingle. She could send him from zero to desperate in a heartbeat. Even now, as he fingers soaked within her, he's mad with thirsting for her and has to have her now.

"... do it," she breathlessly moaned, ready to face the danger and ectasy with him.

Another zip, two tugs, two yanks, and a harsh gasping whine later, and he's embedded inside her, pushing deeper into the most heavenly moist heat of her body, arched over the table.

Buffy bent her back in response, offering herself fully to the moment. This was so crazy, what they're doing. Bad and wrong and not even a little right. It was hot as well. So hot she's panting with her mouth wide open, her tongue moistening her lips. Xander's planting succulent kisses on the nape of her neck, now towering over her from behind. She craned her arms back, pulling him into her as they began a slow rhythm of in and out, building to a erotic crescendo.

Holding her by the waist, the sight of his hard cock parting her spread nether lips never failed to humble

him. She's elemental as a sense of awe. So powerful in such a small package and he can't ever get enough of her. Loves her, needs her, lusts after her, wants to protect her, glorifies her as the wet slapping sounds of their doggy-styled coupled shook their senses. The steady contractions of her snug inner walls around his cock, clutching, sucking, squeezing at his shaft with each exquisite thrust and withdrawal. She's a thousand times his best fantasy. Lunging into her tight little womb, he felt powerful and so alive.

Such a submissive position didn't in the least lessen Buffy's arousal or enjoyment as he took her possessively. She trusts him with her heart and her body, for he never betrays and always pleasures. He so hard, and bigger than she expected him to be. If she weren't the Slayer, her body would not accommodate him as easily as she could. They can play it as sweet and gentle, or as rough as their moods might send them. Time after time the man she loves has questioned his self-worth and abilities. Time after time in every facet of his life, he's conquered them as he's conquered her will to resist him.

Backing seductively into his aggressive surges, Buffy gave as good as she got, meeting his furious tempo. Her face began to churn out a series of sexy expressions as his hard cock hit all her sweet spots, pounding a steady rhythm her body loved so well. She knew how to move her hips as he fucked her, enjoying the delicious moans he breathed against her neck as evidence that it's just as good to him as it is to her.

The tables legs creaked loudly on the floor, screeching with the passion of the couple mating on it. The quiet of the library wasn't so on the second floor, as the whimpering sighs and groans of intense pleasure filtered around.

For as long as he's wanted her, being with her is even better than he could have possibly imagined. She's so warm, surrounding him in a tight sheath of soft heat. His fingers crawled up her hips, her back, gripping the backs of her upper arms as he fucked her that much harder, delving deeper, pounding into her now. His hips pushed into her, his balls brushing quickly against the backs of her thighs. She began to push back faster, never shy during sex, meeting him thrust for thrust. Each forceful slap sent her small frame forward. Sent her very being into overdrive. Her hands braced on the desktop, her nails digging into the finish, scratching the surface as the entire table shook from the force of their desire.

"You love taking me like this, don't you?" Buffy taunted him, leaning up a bit. His lack of being able to reply was proof enough. The vacuum-seal feel of her slick inner walls drove him mad, and his entire body trembled and shook. "I'm your Slayer," she promised him with a wicked tongue. Titling her head, she accepted his hungry kiss. She had her hand behind his head, fingers full of his hair, forcing his tongue deeper in her mouth, sucking wildly, fucking like animals. When his thrust turned erratic and slower, she knew he was close, and didn't want to finish things like this. "Xander, hold on a second."

He shivered when she pulled away, slipping him out of her, his stiff cock coated in their essence. Buffy quickly turned around and hopped on the table, laying back down with her legs spread for him alone. She reached for him, and as badly as he wanted to fall back into her arms, he fell to his knees, face first between her thighs, licking and lapping and suckling the glistening petals of her pussy, devouring her in the heat of his mouth, drinking her in with hungry loud sucks.

"Ughhnnn, God..." His mouth was sudden and unexpected, as his tongue lashed her up and down, fully sampling all she had to offer. He delved inside her, pushing rhythmically, harder, tasting her fully, then wrapped his lips around her clit and started sucking as hard as she could. Buffy swooned, her hand balling up into fists that pounded the surface of the table so hard twin cracks formed. Her muscles tensed, breathing quickened, and just as she was about to climax Xander pulled away, stood up, pressed his cock to her entrance and shoved back inside in one long hard thrust. Bending over her, he kissed her so ravenously, breathing hotly onto her mouth. She let out a husky groan after another deep penetration. She gazed up at him, her eyes filled with passion.

After gently pulling her backside just off the edge of the table, Xander fucked her with wild in and out lunges. Yes, this was his fantasy. A crazy, amazing Penthouse Magazine kind of dangerous moment and even if they were caught, he intended to have the absolute best time of his life and make sure she did as well.

Panting in the crook of her neck, Buffy held Xander so tight as he fucked her faster, sending them both barreling so close to that edge of blissful oblivion. Her eyes shut tight. Feeling a scream building, she stuffed her hand in her mouth. Oh God this was exciting. The most exciting sex she's ever had. A moment she'll never forget because at any moment they could get caught. "This time don't stop," she said between moans, "Until you cum inside me."

"Fine," he gasped in reply, "Only you're coming with me."

"Sounds like a plan."

He hammered her as hard as he could, watching his cock to make sure it didn't slip all the way out. She screamed his name and clawed at his chest though his shirt, wrapping her legs around his lower back. His balls tightened up and a jolt of electricity ran up his cock to his brain.

Her breathing softened and slowed in his ear. "You fuck me so good," she whispered dreamily. She clamped her eyes shut as pounded her on the table. She shrieked and clawed at my upper arms. Her hips spasmed as the erotic turmoil that slowly built in her belly exploded, rumbling a thundering orgasm throughout her body as she lifted higher than she ever had before, crying out loud and unashamed, coming in violent, satisfying convulsive waves that shook the table so hard it threatened to break in half.

Buffy drug Xander down for a slow, savage kiss when she felt him thicken inside her. Her tongue came into his mouth and went where it wanted as that first desperate burst of hot cum tore it's way from the head of his cock, dragging his soul with it, deep inside her, finally. Then another, and another, and another as he lunged deeper, chanting her name with every magnificent ejaculation that at last left him boneless in her arms. Empty, drained, and feeling so alive.

They had done it.

The unthinkable.

The unexpected.

The most dangerous, crazy, insane risk that defied all logic and good common sense.

They had bareback sex in their high school library during the school day with both entrances unlocked and the possibility of being caught a risk they took every second they indulged themselves.

And after all that...

They still didn't care.

They have enjoyed a crazy moment they'll never forget for the rest of their lives. A moment of extreme passion and lust and love at the heart of it all. As they caught their breaths, the laughter started. Deep soulful laughter from the pits of their stomachs at the scene they almost wished they could take a picture of. Xander, his shirt nearly soaked in sweat, his jeans around his ankles, looking as if he'd run a marathon. Buffy, her skirt somewhere on the floor, her thighs shiny with sweat, lying on a table with her legs open. Closer inspection on the table revealed lines of nail tracks, courtesy of her passion, as well as a few cracks through the wood. Her hair looked wild and unruly as his.

They just kept right on laughing.

But they weren't clapping.

So who was?

"Oh my God, you two were so fucking hot."

Buffy and Xander moved so fast Xander stumbled backward and fell flat on his butt, while Buffy rolled off and behind the table, trying to hide her nudity while frantically searching for her panties and skirt.

Faith leaned against a book case, amused as all get out, taking in the zany scene before her. "And here I was thinking you two were as vanilla as a box of Ben and Jerry's, but oh fucking no. I had you pegged all wrong. I can't believe you got your freak on in the school library. That shit's wicked."

Thankfully, her underwear and skirt weren't far from her reach. Buffy blushed so wildly she was sure her face resembled Willow's hair. "How much did you see?"

"I saw his Woo-Ha going in your Woo-Woo. That was mad hot." Buffy looked mortified, while Xander rubbed his sore butt. "I only saw the tail end of the doggy-style. But feel free to re-enact any and all positions I've missed. You two are hotter than the Par-Per-View movies I rent. Cost less too."

Xander buttoned and zipped his jeans back up. "What are you doing here, Faith?"

"Wolf-man Oz found me shooting some pool and said we might have Badness happening at the school. I figured I'd roll through and see what's up. I never expected to find you two banging like bunnies on a table." Faith was loving this. Buffy's clear embarrassment and Xander's adjusting his pants would have made one hell of a funny

video. "I was coming here to tell you two Red charmed those rooms and talked a newbie ghost out of playing tricks on the students. G-man's back to talking normal and alls right with the world," she laughed at the end, taking in the amazingly guilty expressions on their faces. "Was y'all goin bareback? Talk about playing the odds."

Xander took a seat at the table, finally able to catch his breath. "Giles gave Buffy some new birth control pills from the Watchers Council. We're good." Faith's face fell into a mute expression of shock that was so unFaith-like it didn't make sense. Think of Darth Vader doing a musical. It was that kind of shocking.

Buffy looked to Xander, then back to Faith. "Aside from probably teasing us forever, what are you staring at us like that for?"

"Shit, B. I sent a fake box of birth control pills to Giles just to play a practical joke on you. Those are just Extra Strength Tylenol," she explained with her hands as much as her words. Buffy and Xander simply... paused. Stopped perfectly still as if God freeze-framed life. Faith stared at them, then her laughter roared out of her so hard she had to hold onto the staircase just to keep from falling down. "I'm just fucking with ya. Really. G-Man came by my place this morning and gave me some of those Happy-Pills. You guys are safe. I was just messing with ya. Now go and get yourselves together in the bathroom or something. You two look like two horny teenagers who just fucked in a library. Sheesh." Shaking her head, Faith barreled back down the steps, still laughing the whole way down.

"Is your heart beating again?"

Buffy nodded. "Barely," she managed to smile after a moment. "Okay, this was a once in a lifetime moment. No more tables. I want a big nice soft bed from now on." Xander moved beside her, hooking a arm around her waist. He bent down as they shared a little kiss. "That was the best sex ever."

"Best sex ever, Buff. No doubts about it." They laughed through another kiss, simply basking in the afterglow.


The End

No Sequel