Title: "6 Months"

Chapter 2/7

Written by: Shawn



Summary: Nuptials, domestic life, romance, and that first crazy month.

Category: Romance/Humor

Rated: R mostly, but eventually NC-17

Ship: Buffy/Xander

Timeline/Spoilers: Everything up to the BtVS series finale "Chosen" is canon except Xander losing his eye. Outside of that it's my AU. Everything’s explained in the story.

My personal archive: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShawnsLibrary/

Disclaimer: Joss owns it all. I just let them out to play once in a while.

Email: DayShawn1974@hotmail.com

Authors Notes 1: Willow, Buffy, Xander, Faith, and Dawn live in Cleveland, watching over the as-of-yet unopened Hellmouth. They are currently retired and living normal lives for once. Of course every now and then a vamp sighting might spur a patrol, but for the most part they're fighting the same every day struggles and frustrations as you or I.

Authors Notes 2: This story is for fun and laughs. Taking it any deeper will detract from enjoying it. In other words, read it when you're in a good mood or if you need to be put in one.




When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.

~ by Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973) ~


....A simple I love you means more than money....

~ by Frank Sinatra ~

Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.

~ Billy Sunday





Day 1



City Hall

5th floor, Room 5-D

601 Lakeside Ave E

Tuesday, September 18, 2005 9:25 AM

Cleveland, Ohio



Now this was the good stuff.

Buffy vaguely heard the monumental words 'You may now kiss the bride' approximately two seconds before Xander kissed her softly. In some strange part of her mind she felt it made perfectly good sense that their first kiss ever should come on the day they were married.

But that was the last of her coherent thoughts.

When his strong arms wrapped around her slim waist she surprised herself by the eagerness she kissed him with. There wasn't a moment of hesitation, and whether that was due to the real reason that they were getting married or some deeper wish fulfilled at least, she didn't ponder it too much. There was such a lush quality to the mesh of their lips and the sensations were simply wonderful.

They shared one amazingly pleasurable first kiss.

Having dreamed of this moment for so many years, Xander half-expected his fantasies to not live up to reality, as was often the case. Just not the case here. Finally, Buffy was where he had always wanted her to be and he was kissing her as deeply as he had ever wanted. She seemed to fit in his embrace as if she were born to be there, and some small part of him felt that she was. She tasted of Spearmint gum and something naturally sweet. Something uniquely Buffy-esq. Something he richly enjoyed.

Exactly six months from this very date Buffy and Xander were going to become millionaires. Never mind their first kiss came inside a crowded courtroom that usually catered to the trials of murderers, thieves, and those who committed fraud. This moment was magical in it's own way and so they just kept right on kissing passionately as champagne wishes and caviar dreams echoed in their thoughts.

They nearly emptied their checking accounts in bribing three people to set all this up inside of twenty-four

hours. Issues of right or wrong aside, money still made the world go round and almost everyone had a

price. Luckily, they found the people who did and had just enough cash to forgo the necessary things needed to arrange a quick marriage.

They plotted things out perfectly from 5:30 AM this morning until Buffy picked up her very nice white wedding dress with Dawn by her side. Willow, Faith, and Oz met Xander in the lobby at City Hall this

morning. Nervousness was faked to a degree as they played their parts like a couple of seasoned Broadway actors on opening night.

So far, so good.

They were the first couple at 9:05 AM and the ceremony went by pretty smoothly. Buffy and Xander picked up their wedding bands the night before, so when they arrived here this morning they were more than prepared and ready to begin this grand adventure. They were six months away from being rich and that excitement carried over to how they acted when they saw one another for what the others thought was the first time since last

night. Glee over stacks upon stacks of future money was thought to be over the greatest expression of their love.

Whatever worked best, they smiled secretly.

With her small hands framing his clean-shaven face, Buffy knew that her lips had never felt so sensitive as they did just before his sealed them as one. A sense of light-headedness came over her as she gave into his need that left her breathless. She had seen him kiss before and figured he was probably a better than average kisser. Well that thought flew right out of the window now as his tongue thoroughly massaged hers and left her thinking naughty Xander-thoughts. Okay, it wasn't the first time she'd had them in recent months. But today...

The boisterous laughter, whooping and clapping caused Xander to gently end the sweet kiss as their friends cheered them on. He simply could not steer his gaze away from his new wife's lovely hazel eyes, or the sweetest smile he had ever seen on her face, or the plump look of her lips after his tender plundering. She was so much more than simply beautiful today. She was luminous. "Hello Mrs. Harris. It's a pleasure to meet you," he just had to say.

"Hello Mr. Harris. It's good seeing you again," Buffy teasingly replied while thoroughly enjoying his infectiously good mood. He looked so handsome today and she couldn't get over that fact. Here was her very best friend who was now her husband. Of all the strange twists and turns her life had taken, this one had to take the cake. Still she couldn't quite pinpoint why she wasn't afraid. "We got married." Xander nodded really fast like a cartoon character. Buffy laughed, "We actually got married."

"We have the paperwork to prove it. And these cool gold bands on our fingers. They match you know."

"Now comes the all-day long consummation bang-bang," Faith shouted loudly when she snuck between the blushing newlyweds and slipped her arms around their shoulders. Their collective shy smiles intrigued her. "You gonna video tape it?"

"No!" Buffy replied, and then shooed her away to hug her sister and then Oz. "A wedding night fun should not be videotaped. And if it is it should become the knowledge of friends," she winked at the Slayer.

"Bitch." Willow playfully glared at Faith. "What?"

Paying the brunette Slayer no mind, Xander hugged Willow and even swung her in a little circle. He could still pick up some residual tension in her, and had from the moment they saw each other this morning. It wasn't that she had a problem with Buffy and him being together. He knew that much. But something else was bothering her. "It's gonna be okay."

"You better know what you're doing," Willow whispered into his ear, and then pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Aside from that, congratulations. You are now the ball and Buffy is the chain."

Xander smooched her cheek. "You have such a way with words."

"Okay everyone, stand back and let me snap some pictures for Giles." With her digital camera in hand, Dawn motioned for everyone to get out of the way while Xander and Buffy pulled together again. "You know sis, of all the times I've imagined you being in a courthouse I never thought you'd be wearing white. I was thinking prison

orange." Buffy angry grimace was perfect and the first pic she snapped. "Haha. Giles’s is gonna love that one."

"Be nice to my wife, D." Xander gently warned and then kissed Buffy's forehead. She leaned into him. He didn't notice Willow feet shuffling or that Oz seemed a bit impatient, mostly due to Willow mood. "Make it quick, Dawn. We're not the only couple getting married here today." The courtroom was kinda packed already.

"Okay, alright."

Dawn snapped away while Faith observed the newly married couple very closely. She was more than a little happy for both of them, but still couldn't shake this feeling of... she didn't have a name for it. But something was just a bit out of place here. She could tell this was a very happy occasion for her friends but felt there was something more just below the surface. This all happened just a little too fast. Her gut told her someone was hiding something and Faith always listened to her gut. It also told her she needed some breakfast and soon.

Buffy glanced at her watch, and then whispered something in Xander's ear. "Okay everyone, thank you all for coming. We love you all dearly for sharing this special occasion with us. Alas, all good things must come to and end and this special occasion has."

Xander quickly added, "Our marriage is good and legal now." Buffy's gentler poke of her elbow into his side set him straight. "The paperwork on our wedding is done and we need to get to a Office Max right now. See, uhm... see you guys tomorrow or something. Uhm, love, peace and soooulll." He took Buffy hand, raced to the secretary holding their paperwork, took the paperwork from her and then ran out of the courtroom towards the nearest elevator without even looking back.

"They are so gonna bang the day away," Faith thought to herself, grinning. Dawn made a face of non-caring, but was still happy for them. Oz yawned from having to be up so early. Willow simply stared at the direction they ran off in and wondered why she felt like this on the day her two closest friends were married she somehow lost them both. And she didn't like that feeling at all.




Day 1 continued




Buffy's Apartment

321 Winchester Dr

Tuesday, September 18, 2005 10:45 AM

Cleveland, Ohio



A hungry Slayer was an impatient one.

As soon as the elevator doors opened Buffy bounded out and down the hall. In one hand was a big bag of McDonalds breakfast goodies and in the other were her house keys.


The Slayer winced. Xander's shouting would no doubt become the new talk of the laundry room gossip

mongers. Buffy knew that for sure. Alas, the constant growling of her stomach caused her not to care. She stood in front of the door to her apartment and waited for her new hubby to catch up. "Can we get a move on? I'm starving here."

As soon as Xander reached her, he plucked the house keys from her hand, quickly found the right one, and then proceeded to open her front door. "Have I told you how beautiful you look today?"

"Yes and thank you," Buffy replied softly with the makings of a blush clouding her cheeks. "Can we please goohhhhh! ... Hey, what are you doing?" Xander scooped her off her feet that very second, all the while grinning like a little boy on Christmas morning. She knew what this was about. "And I thought we were bucking tradition."

"Oh, you want to do some bucking?" His eyebrow wiggle was greeted with a rolling of her eyes. "I don't think it hurts to start things off right."

Carrying his new bride the three steps it took over the threshold into her... their new apartment was kinda fun and sweet. He had high hopes that in the midst of their six-month plot she wouldn't forget what was building between them before it began. He certainly had no intention of letting her forget.

He also hadn't put her down yet.

Sighing against his shoulder as she held the greasy bag of food away from her dress, Buffy had to admit it was nice being held in his strong arms. The way he smiled left her a bit breathless, but in a good way. She felt special and not many men had left that impression before. "You can set me down now."

"Oh yeah. My bad." He did as she asked and then took a bashful step backward with hands in his pockets. He hated feeling nervous in her presence and hadn’t since way back in high school. Of course she was Buffy Summers then and not Buffy Summers-Harris the way she was now. "The six months have officially begun."

Silently she was pleased he turned things back towards 'Operation Lindsey Lohan.' That loosened the tension that had crept in. "We faxed our brand spanking new marriage license over to Mr. Penis's office and he signed his end of the paper work for your Grandfathers will. I think a high fat, high cholesterol, heart attack waiting to happen sort of breakfast to celebrate is in order." She handed him the bag, turned around, and then walked towards her bedroom.

"Where are you going?"

"To change clothes. I'm not going to sit around all day in my wedding dress."

"You wouldn't by any chance need a hand in taking it off, would you? Zippers are getting advanced and tricky these days. An extra set of hands might come in handy."

Buffy's glare was anything but mean spirited. In fact, it was down right flirty. "You wish."

When she was out of sight Xander sighed under his breath, "Every night."

First things first. A quick trip to her kitchen and he brought two tall glasses of orange juice back to the

living room. Arranging their first breakfast as newlyweds on the oak table in front of her sofa was cool in a strange way. A giddy sort of energy surged throughout his body for so many reasons.

He's a married man. Married to Buffy. Married to a Slayer. Married and stuck with someone forever, or at least as long as they could stand it each. Okay, so technically they're married until the check clears, but that didn't mean he wasn't holding out hope for something more. He knew he just had to take things slowly.

In as good a mood as he had been in years, Xander whipped off his suit jacket and hung it up, then kicked his shoes across the floor in a manly way. This was his new home. He might as well make himself at home.

As expected, Buffy and Xander took the day off of work and planned to spend it going over how they were going to co-inhabit her apartment. As amazing as their friendship was they had never lived together before. At least not somewhere all alone. This was going to take some getting used to. In addition, that private investigator was still going to be watching them for the duration of the six months, so they had to prepare for looking every bit the married couple outside of closed doors. They would never know what the investigator looked like or when he or she would be following them. They had to keep on their toes and that took practice.

Turning his attention away from the McDonalds bag, Xander managed to hold off his hunger in some gesture of honor to his new wife. He could wait until she came back before eating. He knew he could.


As often as her life resembled 'The Twilight Zone', Buffy stared at herself in the bathroom mirror and recited her new name over and over, trying to work the kinks out of saying it. Boy oh boy what had she gotten herself into?


Xander's nosy side took over as perused her DVD collection and found it was lacking male testosterone in

every way. He would make sure that changed in the near future. A healthy dose of Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy would see to that.


Buffy realized she had been standing in front of her bedroom mirror for ten minutes critiquing her comfortable blue jeans and t-shirt ensemble. But why was she concerned if she looked good in it or not?


The new Mrs. Harris didn't need to know he scarfed down one hash brown. Xander hid the offending wrapper evidence inside the bag. She'd never be the wiser.


Pushing her 'Cleveland's Sexiest Naked Firefighters 2005' calendar under her mattress, Buffy figured Xander didn't need to deal with unfair comparisons to men with perfect forms. His was nice enough as it was. Nicer than she cared to admit.


Ah, the sound of a whining man in her home. Now that was going to take some getting used to. Buffy left her bedroom and joined him on the sofa. "Let's dig in and discuss how we're going to make this marriage work." It was nice in a funny sort of way how she didn't have to pour her morning orange juice because their was a full glass right in front of her. For the self-professed 'Queen of Independence,' she liked how he knew what she wanted without her having to ask. Maybe having Xander around full-time wouldn't drive her insane before she became rich after all.

Upon reaching inside the McDonalds bag, the very first thing Buffy pulled out was a balled up hash brown

wrapper. "Did they leave this in there?" she stared at the offending object. Her husband seemed to want no part in even acknowledging what she held in her hand. That spoke volumes. "You ate before me?"

"No... No, of course..." Okay, lying to her ninety minutes after marrying her wasn't a good way to begin wedded bliss. "You took too long and... and I needed some potatoey sustenance."


"My vocabulary is unique, okay."


"Are we having our first fight? Because if we are then I'll let you win." The Slayer glared at him for real this time.

"So you don't think I could win an argument with you on my own unless you let me win?"

All Xander could think of was why did they need Dr. Phil before they had even had sex yet? When in doubt it was always good to begin an unsure answer with a caring endearment. "Honey, I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." They were being silly and Buffy knew that. She pulled her Big Breakfast container out of the bag and then handed him his three Sausage, Egg and Cheese McGriddle’s. "I will never understand why you are so in love with those pancake sandwiches."

"Says the woman who won't buy Count Chocula cereal because he's fangy. And he only has one fang."

"He's a vampire. I'm a vampire Slayer. Do you think he would buy a box of Slayer Puffs? I think not."

"I certainly wouldn't have a problem eating your Slayer Puff." Of course he knew how naughty that sounded and of course Buffy waited until his sheepish grin arrived. He sincerely wished his brain and common sense were more in sync when he spoke. "I meant that I'm sure any cereal designed around the essence of being a Slayer would be nutritious and delicious." Hearing his wife laugh at him wasn't so bad at all. She had a wonderful laugh. "Maybe it would have some little marshmallow stakes and tombstone stickers inside the box." She's just shaking her head at him. "Oh, and if you send in ten proof of purchases to the Watchers Council you could get a Slayer watch with swords for the little hands."

"Hush and eat your breakfast." He's her very best friend and now her Xander-shaped husband. He was also a bit nuts, but at least he was a lot of fun to be around. "Let's talk sleeping arrangements."

"Whatever side of the bed you don't sleep on is cool with me."

"I was thinking..." Buffy patted the sofa while smiling. His eyes widened a little, but he didn't put up a fuss. They had agreed on taking baby steps toward... each other. Sleeping in the same bed every night wouldn't look anything like baby steps.

"This sofa will be fine." Feeling a bit adventurous, Xander added, "I'll make it to the bed eventually."

He refused to look at her after he said that and she was grateful. Her flush would have given away her own amorous thoughts. "As you can see I don't have a great deal of room here. How much stuff are you bringing over from your place?"

"Unless you want me walking around all day naked..."

"Not an option."

"Then I'll be bringing all my clothes and maybe five boxes of stuff. Pictures, movies, CD's, my favorite coffee mug, some comic books, my computer, and my XBox."

"I'm sure we can pack all of that stuff somewhere. How about your furniture and TV and stuff?"

"It's all going into storage. And after six months it's all going to the Salvation Army as I will buy all new and expensive cool stuff for my big new house."

The money was going to be a shock to both of their systems. Buffy almost had to pinch herself just to remember that she's going to be a millionaire in six months. "I too will donate all my crap to charity and buy new expensive crap." She nodded behind a mouthful of syrupy pancake while he chewed his sandwich.

"I have to hit the phones today and get all my mail forwarded here. You've got to get the name change thing going on your mail. And I figured I should have at least one home bill in my name. I'll take over your Direct TV account. Is that alright with you?

Impressive, Buffy admitted to herself. "Yeah, that's fine by me. I honestly hadn't thought about having to change my mail over to the Summers-Harris name."

Despite their open and honest friendship, Xander didn't feel he could share with her just yet the elation he knew he would feel when mail began coming in Buffy Summers-Harris name, or when the phone rang and someone asked for her by that name. Maybe someday.

They settled into a comfortable quiet while finishing breakfast. Some easily ignored news program played on the television, providing background noise to the conversations each of them were having in their respective heads. It was no small thing at all that they were married today. To each other no less. What a crazy adventure they've embarked on.

"Thanks for marrying me."

"You're welcome." Buffy regarded her new husband for a tender moment. Their arrangement was as wacky as it was fraudulent. Nonetheless, it looked like it could turn out to be a whole lot of fun. And maybe even more than that. "I will be controlling the TV. You understand that, right?"

"Uhm, I was hoping we'd share and compromise like other married couples do."

"We can share closet space and compromise on the grocery shopping. But there is only one lord and master of the TV, and that is I."

"You're a mean wife."

He actually had the nerve to pout. She actually thought it was kind of cute. She knew she was in trouble if he could get to her that easily. "I take dibs on Sunday nights. I can't live without my Desperate Housewives fix."

Compromise, thy name was Buffy. Xander leaned over and smooched her cheek. "I want Mondays. I need my football. And that really cool, funny, amazingly acted show on Fox called Kitchen Confidential. "

"Seth is really cute on that show," Buffy nodded. "I want Wednesdays. I must have my 'Lost'."

"Give me Saturday afternoons for college football and you can have the rest of the week." He extended his hand to offer the deal.

"Done." She shook his hand and that was that. It wigged her out that she really liked his hands. He had sexy hands. Anyway, with breakfast done and their personal arrangements set, she was in the mood for some fun. "I think it's time we window shopped online for some luxury cars. How about you?"

"I'm with you all the way, Mrs. Harris."

That was the second time he had called her that. Called her by her new name. The one that joined them. She hadn't expected the butterflies in her tummy. Or the flood of warmth that washed over her. "Come on."

Before Buffy even stood up Xander rushed ahead of her and sat down in the chair in front of the computer desk. She stood beside him, arms crossed, and glared for the third time this morning. "That's my chair."

"I was here first."

"I bought that chair."

"We're married now. So what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours. Ergo, this chair is as much mine as it is yours."

"I can lift you out of that chair and throw you, thus crushing your male pride. Do you want that?" He fixed a lopsided grin her way, and then reached out and grabbed her wrist. He gently tugged her across his lap. Before she could even struggle he had one arm secured around her waist. He scooted forward close enough so that he could type. "Xander..."

Holding her like this, so close he could feel the warmth of her breath on his cheek, he pulled her even closer, tempting fate. "Do you have a problem with this?"

The hidden challenge in his voice wasn't going to go unanswered. He didn't 'get' to her. Not at all. Not in the

least. Instead of getting up, she slipped one arm around his neck and leaned into him. She had to admit this felt better than nice. It felt right. "I want to look at the Mercedes."

"Thy wish is my command." Xander did a quick Google search and found the Mercedes Benz official site. "Here we go."

"I want to look at their roadsters. Go there first." He did as he was told and she smiled at that. Good hubby. "See that!" she pointed at the screen with her finger. "The 2006 SL500 Roadster. I am in love with that car. That automobile is my destiny. I must have that car!"

The price tag left Xander flabbergasted. "It costs $93.000."

Buffy shrugged. "Am I not worth $93.000?"

Uh oh. Trick question time. Xander didn't miss a beat. "You're worth a hundred times that; but my goodness, that car costs an arm and a leg and a back and some knees and just about your whole body."

"Tell me you aren't going to buy that $7.000 dollar 50' inch Sony Plasma screen TV?"


"Exactly. And for the record, no one with a life needs a seven thousand dollar TV."

"And you need a $93.000 car?"

"I would look good in it."

"You look good in everything, Buffy."

"Aww, that's so sweet." She pressed a brief smooch on his cheek and watched the cutesy grin spread across his

face. "I'll look even better in that Mercedes."

They surfed the net for the next fifteen minutes perusing things they wanted to buy when they were filthy rich in six months time. Buffy was nestled comfortably on Xander's lap and in his arms. She didn't even know her head was resting on his shoulder until it was while they were looking at furniture. Couple that strangeness with the fact that they were shopping for something they both liked rather than what they wanted for their individual new homes.

They never said a word about that.

The affection and intimacy of lying in his arms wasn't lost on Buffy. When it came to men, especially in recent years, there were fragments of this and that, but nothing that drove the loneliness away. Nothing that made her contemplate falling in love. "This is fun."

"What is?"

"Shopping with you."

"Yeah, it is kinda fun to shop when you know that in six months you can buy whatever you want."

"I meant shopping with 'you' is fun."

He was hoping that was how she meant it. With her eyes focused on the monitor his were focused on her. As beautiful as she looked in her wedding dress, she was even more alluring sitting on his lap with her faded 'Sunnydale High' T-shirt, blue jeans, white socks, and her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail.

She was captivating in casual. Holding her was his way of adoring her, and he hoped in some small way she felt that. Of course things between them was going to take a while and today was only their first day. None of that kept him from dreaming of a life with her.